Are you struggling with being home? Do you want to know why it’s so hard at times?
If you long to be home and enjoy it, then this blog post is for you.
I want to talk to Christian wives, mothers, and grandmothers because I know you want to thrive at home (at least deep down you do).
And if you’re not a Christian, I still think it’s a good read, somethings to consider.
This post contains affiliate links, which means I make a small commission at no extra cost to you. See my full disclosure here.
What do I mean by Being Home?
Let’s cover the basics so no one feels left out.
I want to talk to the working wife and the stay at home wife.
You both struggle with being home! It might look different, but the root cause is the same.
How does this look in real life?
Struggles within these areas
- Serving at home
- Enjoing the home
- Being a full-time homemaker (wife/mom)
- Bitterness when home
- Difficulty concentrating at home
- Resentment from not being at home
- Glad to not be home
So, as you can see, being at home is more complex than you thought.
And before we move on, this is not the blog post about whether you should work or stay home.
The Bible has clear instructions for Christian living but that will be covered another time. Also, I will assume that at this point you know or heard that the home is a vital part of a women’s role (if not, please continue reading and meditate on the scripture sprinkled around).
With that let’s jump in.
Other Blog post for women and this one for homemakers.
What you will find in this article
- It begins at the Heart and Mind
- The Flesh and the Spirit Want Different Things
- Do you Trust your Maker?
The Struggle Begins at the Heart and the Mind
I hear a lot of people give tips about changing our mindset and that’s okay but there is more.
We can’t change the mindset ( Romans 12:2) without changing the heart first. I want to look at the truth and not what the world teaches.
You already know about the grind culture, girl power, gender ideology and that friend is a mindset problem but also a heart problem.
Jeremiah 17:9
The mind is strong but I assure you that the heart is evil. There is a deeper issue.
Now, let’s go a little deeper and please KNOW that this is for women who are struggling, but actually WANT to love being home. You actually desire to change and grow in this area.
So, let’s look at the heart.
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The Heart Problem Begins at Creation
Remember the garden and how God made Eve and Adam? Yeah, you know how it goes. Okay, well let me remind you of another story.
This is the truth and it will change the way you look at eveything. This will change your heart!
Maybe it will remind you about who you really are. Maybe you will remember that you have a new heart.
The story goes like this…
There was a beautiful world with order, peace and love but evil came into the world and it corrupted everything.
It was through this that man and woman were separated from God. They choose to do their own will, and reign over their own lives with passions and desires contrary to God.
Jesus Came to Make You a New Creation
The good news is that if you trust and call upon the name of Jesus, as your savior, you will be saved.
Saved from what? Oh, you are saved from death!
1 Corinthians 15:55
Remember, you are dead in your transgressions because of the separation that happened in the garden, and now death rules over you (if you’re not saved).
All people experience this death___ through sin.
When you are saved you become a new creation ( 2 Corinthians 5:17 ) in Christ Jesus. You no longer want and desire evil, but since you still live in this flesh (body), then you still sin.
So, why are you telling me this?
I know, this is about salvation, but trust me without this___ nothing at home makes sense.
Salvation Through Christ Brings a New Heart and the Holy Spirit
Ezekiel 36:26
Honestly, if you made it this far then you know excatly where the battle really is. It’s at the core of the human heart!
Now, you can see that the struggle of being home is not just a YOU problem, it’s something so deep that only with God’s help we overcome.
Here is the hope sister, you have a new heart and the Holy Spirit. If you have been feeling less than or troubled by your struggle at home. Please know that you are not alone.
You have hope because you have the Helper (Holy Spirit) and a new heart that desires the goodness of being home.
You might struggle with sinful thoughts. You might not like being home. Maybe you feel like a horrible homemaker, wife or mother.
Maybe you feel shame for being a woman that doesn’t enjoy her home. But guess what? You aren’t the only one battling with those thoughts.
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The Flesh and the Spirit Want Different Things
An Illustration for the Woman that Needs Hope
I want to share with you a little illustration before we dive deep into this part.
Painting is one of my old hobbies and it helped me through out the years.
Today I was looking at an old painting and it had a short caption.
It went like this, ” I love painting houses because I don’t just see the structure but the HOME. I imagine the people that live there. How do they live together? It’s not always easy to call a house “my home” because difficulties make things feel extra grey.”
Dear friend, a home needs time, hard work but most of all it needs God. If your house is not YOUR HOME yet, rest assured that Christ knows. He knows the pain and there is hope.
Trust in his design and see how things can change.
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The Fight is for your Identity Woman!
I don’t want to go to deep here but the important thing to remember is that design is important.
If you’re a follower of Christ, then you know He made all things. You also know that the Maker has given a purpose to every creation He made.
Just like a napkin is made for cleaning and decorative purposes. A cup holds liquid and serves us well.
Well, God design women for the home___ (I don’t want to lose you here). At this point you might feel something jump inside you.
Titus 2:4-8, 1 Corinthians 11:8-12, Proverbs 31:10-31
“I can do more with my life!”
“Women are smart and can do everything a man can!” …
These are the lies, read more about girl power culture!
Yes, we can do many things and no God didn’t make us to be or feel confined or feel less than, but that’s the issue. We don’t see ourselves like the Designer does. Our home is a priority as married women.
If it’s not we won’t enjoy our home, our womenhood.
Your Identity is Deeply Woven and will Never Disappear
If God’s word is true and it says something about a man or woman, then we need to listen and reward it as truth. We might not like it, but we can work on that.
The question is, do you believe God (the one that made you) when He speaks about his design?
God made water to drink it, and we surely believe Him because without it we die.
He also made you and his design for you is just as special and needed as water. You have VALUE as a WOMAN.
Women’s Identity is Rooted in Christ but also in her Home
We are made in the image of God, meaning that we share in his attributes, character, and likeness. We can think and reason and so does God.
Our identity as Christians is rooted in Christ because He is our life. Apart from Jesus we don’t have a peaceful, abundant, eternal life.
The bible says that married women are to do certain things and those things revolve around the home.
Titus 2:4-5
God gives us commandments to guide our life. God has not made these things up. He made us and knows for what purpose he made us.
Do you agree with God’s word and what it says about the role of women?
Trusting God as our Maker is the Start to Enjoying the Home
Do you realize I said this about married women?
Girls, teens and unmarried women don’t have to obey these instructions on Christian living.
They don’t have a husband or children. They don’t have a home, well they do, but the wife in the house is the one with the responsibilities.
Ephesians 5:22-24
This is for wifes! The woman that stays home or works outside the home has a responsibility.
When she doesn’t meet that responsibility, two things happen.
- Scenario #1: She is frustrated and unhappy when she (gets/or) is home
- Scenario #2: She is resting in something else and can ignore the home “peacefully/unconsciously”
At this point you might not like this post, or you might be asking yourself if this is true.
I have left scripture through out this post. Take a minute to read it and pray. Ask God to show you why you don’t like what his word says.
I find that as kids we experience things at home that make us see the world in one way. Here I go back to the identity.
Woman, your identity needs to rest in Christ. He will tells you what a woman is and why she is absolutely beautiful.
So, What Now? I Want to Experience God’s Goodness in my Home
The problem is at the heart. You and I need a new identity in Christ, and we also need to understand why God made us.
I wish I could solve this issue in one post, but please know that this is a process and only God can truly help. It takes time, but God can restore and heal.
We can learn to love the vessel He made (woman), and enjoy the home he made for us to love, run and manage.
Books that Helped me in the Process of Enjoying Womanhood
I currently read this and it’s so helpful for all areas of life and biblical understanding.
This book changed my understanding of salvation (the new creation in Christ).
This book helped me accept God’s love, it’s neccesary to grow as women.
A great devotional to have in this journey with God.
This was an amazing devotional for groups, but it’s short and sweet everyday.
Woman that Enjoys the Home is Possible!
Please note that none of these books are about being a women (wife/mom/homemaker) or enjoying the home particularly, but they help in the process of our identity in Christ and biblical understanding of God’s creation, order, and design (theology).
In Christ,
Rosa Rosa
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